There are landscapes that we find challenging and hard, yet we find ourselves returning. It is as if we know there is something there, something worth shooting. It's just that we're not sure what's missing inside of ourselves to allow us to capture what we're feeling.
For me, Easter Island is just like that.
There's a starkness to this place. Black volcanic rubble litters the landscape and often times the light during the day is so harsh it seems that I'll never find the soft tones that I'm seeking in my photography. The light for me, is so different that I really can't make my mind up how best to approach it, so much so, that I've tried going back in different seasons to see if the light is more workable.
This June was perhaps the most successful trip I've had there to date, because it was also the most cloudy. With occasional overcast days that allowed me to shoot the statues and landscape with softer tones, I was happy. But I couldn't shake the feeling that I was still very much in my own comfort zone, willing the landscape to conform to me, and not me to it.
It's been thirteen years since I first visited the island. During that time I've been to many places that have resonated with me, where I feel I was able to grow and produce good work. I've also built up a lot of shooting hours now, so I had high hopes that if I returned to Easter Island now, I may be able to work with it.
This turned out to be only partly true. What I did discover was just how much I've changed since that first trip in 2003. I found myself reflecting a lot on what my level of ability was back then from a technical stand point, but I was more interested to discover that I was really looking for very different things now. I felt as if someone had peeled back a curtain to show me more than I'd been able to comprehend on my first visit.
It was enlightening in more ways than I could have imagined.
Being able to look back at where I'd come from was one thing. But because I was in a landscape that conjured up memories and feelings of who I was back in 2003, I couldn't help feel very reflective about my life. So much time had passed, and rather than being someone in is mid-30's, I was now someone fast approaching 50. I couldn't help look within.
I've often attributed photography to being another way for me to meditate. When I am out there making photos, I become invisible to myself. Time disappears, and the present moment often becomes the only thing occupying my mind.
I am here. Nothing else matters. The past and the future don't even enter into my mind. But sometimes, just sometimes, when I visit certain landscapes they seem to act as a mirror, a time to reflect upon who I am, where I've been and what life has meant to me so far. Other times they ask me questions about where I'm going and what the future may hold.
The landscapes we get to know hold many memories for us. They record imprints of who we were and what we were thinking during our past visits, and they remind us of these each time we return. It's a beautiful and special relationship, and I am often reminded that we're not simply here to make great captures; we're also here because of what this exchange does for us on a more intimate and personal level.
I guess that's why I keep returning to Easter Island. It is a landscape that asks lots of questions through the history I have with it.