A lonely pursuit?
I’ve been dwelling on this one for some time this year. Photography is a lonely pursuit. For some, it is a release from the constance of home pressures and work pressures. They may be people who have lives where they seem to be surrounded by people, held back by schedules and and tied in by commitments.
But what if you’re not that kind of person? I’ve always had friends who are ‘busy busy busy’ but I’ve often felt that they have created this hectic-ness as a distraction. Perhaps they’ve made themselves so busy to keep their minds of the fact that they are lonely, or perhaps they’ve created this busyness to fill their lives and give them purpose. Or perhaps it’s as simple as it’s just the way it’s turned out to be.
But I’ve often liked to have a lot of space around me. I can’t concentrate or feel at ease if my calendar is so hectic, so I don’t fill it up….. and now that I’m a full time pro, I seem to find I am even more isolated than I ever imagined I would be. Perhaps too much space around me now, which in many ways is making me feel overwhelmed in just as much the same way as I would be if I were too busy.
Photography as I’ve said is a lonely pursuit. Depending on how you define ‘lonely’, you will agree or disagree. Perhaps a better definition or word would be ‘solitary’. So photography is a solitary pursuit. It gives us time to be on our own, to internalize, to lose ourselves in a pursuit and the outdoors for a few hours. That is all very liberating, but what I’m alluding to is what happens when you have so much free time, you find that any time away doing photography, feels like self inflicted solitary confinement?
I’d always dreamt of getting away – going to visit and photograph the Scottish Islands, and as much as I do enjoy it – there’s only so much of it that I can handle in one sitting, before I’m keen to return to base, back to family and friends, back to familiarity.
I think that some of us are drawn to photography because it allows the gypsy part of our characters freedom to roam, freedom to disconnect from the pressures of modern day life, but it also seems to be a way of keeping us away from the ones we love and although we are engaging in the world on a visual and sensual level, we’re not engaging with others.
Your thoughts appreciated.
Bruce,
I’m new around here but I think this is a spot on post. I’ve had some great opportunities for photographic projects that are rather long term. I had an entire year where I traveled on my own, living out of a car, photographing birds across Australia. I didn’t know a soul in the country when I arrived. As I traveled and met other photographers and birders, I started to make friends and was surrounded by people on a few occasions though most of my time was spent in remote bush areas where I could go days without seeing another person or vehicle. I had a couple extremely lonely periods, when I first arrived and was slowly getting situated in an unknown country, after a couple weeks way out in the central deserts, and towards the end when I was ready to go home.
I agree, photography can be a lonely pursuit but it can also be a great way to meet people. We have fairly romantic jobs and people tend to be fascinated and want to hear our stories. I’m a bit of an introvert but I am finding it is easier to open up than it once was. By the end of the year, it sure was great to see a familiar face though.
Great though provoking post.
Drew
Comment by Drew Fulton — 19 November, 2009 @ 2:17 am
Bruce, Good post. I think Socrates had the answer to the paradox you talk about. He said virtue lies between excess and deficiency. I think he was talking about having balance in your life.
Too much humanity makes me crave solitude, and what better solitary endeavor than photography. Too much solitude, on the other hand, makes most of us crave some humanity.
I think each of us has to decide what is the right balance position for our own life. For me, most of the time its about 70 percent solitude, 30 percent humanity. My wife, on the other hand, is 90 percent humanity, but she understands my need for solitude (more or less), so we try to balance even that.
I think life for a photographer is like a teeter- totter, constantly shifting back and forth between these competing forces. When we find the right balance, that is the virtue I think old Socrates was talkin’ about.
Comment by Sam Blair — 19 November, 2009 @ 5:08 am
I know exactly what you mean with your post above Bruce. It’s like being torn between two worlds. I’m not sure all forms of photography are as solitary as nature photography can be. I suppose even if we are shooting a wedding or event we are still “removed” in a way. We’re still a spectator so to speak.
For me photography is very much a solitary pursuit. I find nature and time to myself as a recharge to the batteries so to speak. A cleaning of the dirtiness of society if that doesn’t sound too harsh. But like you, after a time I always want to come “home” or reconnect with others.
Growing up I found one example of this “phenomenon” in a much smaller time frame. When I was at a party, one minute I wanted to be the center of attention loud with all eyes on me; then 10 minutes later I was out in the back yard away from it all. At first I thought something must be wrong with me. Nobody else seemed to behave like this. Once I became ok with this quirk of mine life was much better.
I’ve read somethings on different personality types and such and some people (generally introverts like myself) need that space or time to balance themselves. Many extroverts don’t seem to understand this need. Since extroverts outnumber us very badly it can be tough. I’ve been very lucky in my life as those closest to me have (including my parents) understood.
Photography if done right is an Art and often an artist wants their vision and not someone else’s. This could be part of it as well?
All of that being said I often find that sometimes it’s hard to re-engage with others once I “come back”. I suppose we have to know ourselves and find people who understand and more importantly deal with our ways.
I’ve noticed in your photography you go between your Landscapes and now your portraits and city images. This seems the perfect way to find a balance between what you ask about. A mix of both worlds.
You do both types of photography remarkable well I must say. When I first started with my landscape photography I had this idea that I had to do the one type of photography and do it very well. That was just the way it had to be. But watching your work has given me permission to go beyond that. It still need to do it well.
Thank-you for your Images and Words Bruce.
Comment by Joel — 19 November, 2009 @ 6:02 am
Hi Drew, Sam & Joel,
Thanks for those considered replies.
I think Sam hit it on the head about Balance… and Drew – It was nice to hear that you had periods of extreme loneliness – I’ve been there too, but it’s always much easier to handle when I remember that ‘they will pass’.
Joel, you said ‘Photography if done right is an Art and often an artist wants their vision and not someone else’s. This could be part of it as well?’
Which is a very interesting point – I’ve often wondered – to create different work, or to have your own ‘vision’ – does it require a sense of independence, or is it more a case of having a drive that propels you forward, even though you don’t feel independent?
For me, I find I have to do what I do, even to the point that I don’t feel that independent. I find myself wishing for companionship, yet I still find myself in a pitched tent by myself when doing my own projects…..
Sams comments about Balance were interesting too – I think I used to be more introverted, but as I’ve grown as a person, I feel I’ve become more outgoing and crave people around me. But like Sam, I need spells away from people too. There’s only so much chaos I can handle – which is why I’ve never understood friends who seem to be ‘busy busy busy’….. I think you summed it up so well by describing them as ‘competing forces’. Which is exactly how I feel about it.
Joel – I understand that difficulty to re-engage, although personally, I don’t have an issue with it. I’ve found that when I’m ready to come home, I can more or less step off the plane in Edinburgh and settled right into my life. This is a new thing for me, and I can only put it down to perhaps ‘preparing’ myself before the trip has ended for that mind-wrenching-culture-shock-oh-god-i-hate-being-home feeling I used to get after each trip, where I would feel dislocated for a few weeks. I guess that’s another post to be made about travel, culture exposure, and the come-down when returning home from an experience that has changed you.
Comment by Bruce Percy — 19 November, 2009 @ 10:19 am
Bruce,
somehow I woke up and knew what will be about the today’s post.
Yep, the photography is a lonely pursuit generally and it takes us away from family and friends for a while. But for some of us it’s the only way to feel some matter of what we’ve done and to have time to think carefully.
I’ve started working on a long and expensive photography project since this summer. Organisation, presentations, sponsorships… for the last over 3 months I’ve been working every day, being busy and focused on this mission with no time to go in the nature. So now everybody around me can see how I’m not myself with this city-life, how the only thing that I can do my best is out and waiting for me to continue. Being not in “shooting-shape” is such as big rock pushing on my back.
The longest time I’ve been alone with my cameras was for 50 days in polar Norway – I felt alone, but the hardest par was not there – it was the first week in the city. Probably it’s normal for the introverts like us and thankfully my closest people know that. Being able to think far from the crowd and doing what we love is also a way to help to the people we love.
Thank you for this post, at least now I know it’s not only me thinking so often about this topic. Cheers!
Comment by Vladimir Donkov — 19 November, 2009 @ 10:55 am
Hi Vladimir,
I remember looking at your photos from this summer – apologies if I never replied to you…. they were the stuff of inspiration…. you really went out on a limb and from what I recall, there were photos from the Lofoten and beyond.
50 days is too long for me, but I did spend around 30 days in Iceland once. It was a magical experience full of solitude (not loneliness), time to reflect on my life, where I’d grown up, who I’d lost touch with, where I was going. A real mental clear out or ’spring clean’ as we like to call it in the UK.
I felt that it was a luxury for me to have this time away, and a luxury to be able to reflect, and be happy. I came home relaxed, free and ready to go forward with my life.
Which I guess brings up another topic… sometimes isolation comes upon us at the right moment, when we are ready to embrace it and run with it. That certainly happened for me in Iceland and I feel my images from there illustrate that I was in the right frame of mind.
But what if we’re not receptive, and feel we’ve been pushed out there – into isolation – at a time when we don’t want it to be?
I certainly have a hard time adjusting back to city life, but I also find it a wrench to leave it behind at the onset of a trip – it’s like climbing a mountain twice.
Comment by Bruce Percy — 19 November, 2009 @ 11:19 am
I don’t crave not seeing or talking to anyone for extended periods, but I do like to be left alone when photographing. I am happy being alone but don’t like to push the people around me away to achieve that, because on the whole I am a social person, not a “loner”.
I do find that I love the internal-ness of being somewhere new and beautiful and being left alone to explore it. If left to my own devices, I will gladly just wander off in any given direction and keep wandering until I have a need to go somewhere else.
But for me, the solitude or loneliness you’re talking here comes more in terms of a sense of privacy. What I’m thinking and seeing and trying to make happen when I’m photographing is very internal and I kind of like to keep that to myself. I like showing people the photos afterwards, but sharing them with others isn’t the reason I make the photos in the first place.
Comment by Niall Connaughton — 19 November, 2009 @ 7:11 pm
Hi Niall,
The post was really about when you have ‘too much time’ on your hands for photography. If you’re away for extended periods of time – how it affects you.
I know yourself and Daphne have been away this year to a lot of places, but you’ve always had the comfort of knowing you’re away to make pictures ‘on your own’ for a small amount of time. The rest of the day you have with Daphne… so it’s not isolating.
When i’ve been away on journeys, or even on workshops, I often find it quite a lonesome adventure. In one way I’m keen to go, but in another way, I’m dreading the isolation.
Today for example, I was at Luskentyre beach on Harris and I was aware of being on my own for the past two days – leaving home to go and work somewhere else for a week isn’t exactly welcoming, but on the other hand, this evening, I completely lost myself for 2 or 3 hours during the most dramatic, stormy evening light I’ve encountered in a long while. During that 2 or 3 hours, I didn’t feel ‘alone’. I felt engaged and enthused. I guess it’s the ‘inbetween’ times I find the hardest.
Comment by Bruce Percy — 19 November, 2009 @ 7:39 pm
I experience it is a very thin line between loneliness and solitary. All depending on the state of my mind. When I am feeling unsettled I am longing for spending time on my own, but because of the disturbed mind this venture easily turns into a feeling of loneliness. There is no easy answer to this. I just know when I feel balanced there is no better thing in my life than having lots of quality time with me and myself somewhere out there in the beauty of nature and return home to the comfort of friends and family when I feel for it. I find solitary truly satisfying, while loneliness is hurting. So it is a pure matter of heart for me where the line goes.
Comment by Redhair — 19 November, 2009 @ 11:38 pm
I want to pitch in on this but I’m not quite sure how to put what I want to say. First, as others have noted, I assume you’re basically referring to nature photographers. Fashion photographers don’t tend to be solitary… But I wouldn’t say that nature photographers are necessarily solitary either. Some I know are downright gregarious – in fact if you want to build a successful business at it, surely being sociable is pretty important ?
I think I’m drawn to photography because it is a great way to communicate things which can’t be put in words. It certainly isn’t an excuse, or an opportunity, to escape. Unfortunately, and usually, if you want to do it properly it is a bit exclusive of anybody else who is not also a photographer. And even traveling with another photographer can be limiting if you both have different aims.
So by necessity photography is something I often do on my own, but the only thing that bothers me about that is that a lot of places I go to I really, really should not go on my own.
So, physically, yes, it tends to be solitary, but a lonely pursuit … well, no, not really. If I felt as bad about it as some of you seem to, I don’t think I’d bother!
Comment by David Mantripp — 21 November, 2009 @ 8:47 pm